21 day challenge: A complaint free world

I love to do things. When i hear something cool i just want to do it too. I was talking with my mom last night and she mentioned a book she wants to read called "A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted" by Will Bowen.

The challenge is to not complain, gossip, or critisize for 21 days. 21 days is the amount of time it takes for our mind and body to make habits. The book is stories about people who have done the challenge, but also several chapters on insights to our thoughts and how being positive will make you happier. The trick is that everytime you do complain, you have to start over. As a physical reminder you wear a bracelet that you switch from arm to arm each time you have to start over. I read that the average person takes 4-8 months to finish the challenge, because on average a person will complain 21x a day!

Why not? This time will be passing anyway, I might as well take the challenge. We all know we could be a little more possitive. And in not saying negative things, our minds stop thinking negative things. Bring it on! Write this down: Day 1 April 21st 2010

Mid-Life Crisis came early this year.......

I have been at my current job for almost 9 whole months. My work has become my life. Not because I chose it to be that way - heavens no - but because everyday I have to come to the warehouse at Spanish Fork. I no longer have school, rugby or other clubs to fill my time and give me new experiences. Its been so much harder than I ever would have thought. But guess what, I cant go back in time. All i have is here and now. I'm not happy with here and now so its time to make some changes. I'm currently in the process of finding some new friends. I'm going to all my church activities and looking for clubs and groups to join. I have plans on Friday night with a group I joined called Critical Mass. It's a monthly bike ride/party. I want to get into road biking and I'm hoping so dearly that I can find some new people to ride with.

I have a confession to make. No one reads my blog, so this confession is more for me than anyone else. My whole goal behind this mid-life crisis is to learn to be happy for myself. I know I need other people. I dont like to be alone - i like to share my days with people I love. There's nothing wrong with that. But I've come to a realization that scares the hell out of me. I dont know how to be happy by myself. I am almost completely at the mercy of others. There is something wrong with that. It gives others too much power and leaves me with none. And for my friends it gives them too much responsibility. That's not fair to them. Well no more! I'm starting counseling next week, and I'm gonna make a stop to this. How can I be a good friend and help some one if I can't even help myself? I haven't been a good friend. I was going about it all the wrong way. I dont necessarily know the right way - which I hope can be learned better from counseling and by continuing to try to be better. I dont want to lose anymore. But i need help and understanding. It freakin' sucks to feel like this - to be like this. At least I'm stable. Good grief I can't imagine what this type of realization would have done to me a few years ago. That's progress at least right? And I'm not a lost cause - I'm a good person. I try hard, I've just been missing some life skills that most people have by now. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Why I blog

I've been meaning to write about a lot of things. A lot of very awesome blogging ideas have come and gone through my head because I just plum forgot to correspond the words to these black keys i'm touching now. This blog thing is still new to me and I haven't quite decided how I feel about it. I like the introspective aspect - the inner thoughts that get put down visually for anyone to see. What holds me back and makes me question is the raging popularity of blogging. I've always had this strong gravitational pull away from mainstream culture - things that would label me. For instance, hiking the beloved Y was like a diseased leper I shunned for 5 years. The sole purpose because its "every BYU student's experience." I did eventually hike the Y, but only because it was a stop on a trail that I was taking with a friend back behind the mountain. To this day I have never hiked that trail just to see the Y. I also have never seen Titanic. When it was all the rage I would close my eyes even when just walking through a room where it was playing. That room was always full of hormonal teenagers watching what they claimed to be the best movie ever made. It may have been worthy of all the awards, it may have been the best female character since Scarlett Ohara (doubtful) - but I couldn't make myself watch it. I didn't want to be in that group: Lovers of teenage drama. Blogging has this beehive-haired, ikea shopping, trendy stay-at-home-mom feel to me. I know it doesn't need to feel like that - i religiously read a few blogs of some friends that amaze me. One is by a friend from high school that lives in NY now and might be the farthest thing from the label i just described. There are plenty of people who blog - i can be whoever i want. And maybe i should work on not giving into stereotypes eh? I dont want to be put in them, and I'm sure no one else does. Wait, let me contradict myself....if i could be put in the chaco-wearing, eco-friendly, book loving, science nerd, church-going, adventure-seeking, avid hiker, road biking, kind hearted and accepting Oregonian category....i would be happy with that :)

Oh sweet rugby 7s, where have you been all my life?

Let's be honest...I miss rugby. My closest friends are still playing for BYU which keeps me kinda involved with the team because of that. Thank goodness! I get jealous at times though. I want to be going to practice. I want to run and pass and tackle. Its hard to think that my rugby life will never be the same. I probably wont play on a rugby team ever again. Sad. But this weekend made me feel like that it's gonna be okay - That rugby can still be part of my life, but just in a different way.

I joined up with the team in Las Vegas to be a part of the best Rugby event of the year here in the United States. The International 7s tournament. 24 games in one day :) New Zealand, Australia, Fiji, Samoa, Canada, Kenya, the USA team and more. It was so great. Rugby 7s is a much faster pace version of Rugby Union. The scoring is faster and more often, and the games only last about 20 minutes. The weather was warm and the sun burned our white Utah skin. People from all over the world were there. Drunks and saints alike were enjoying this fine example of athleticism. People were dressed up, dressed down, and undressed. All the girls sat together with Tom and his army of Fiji supporters. They sang Fijian Folk songs in perfect harmony that almost made me cry. Watching rugby with so many people who love the game made me feel something I hadn't before. I felt like a part of the world. I felt some of the things I felt when I was traveling abroad. You feel connected to the whole human race. Rugby has truly done that for me because it is very much an international sport. It allowed us mormon girls to be a part of a sport most commonly known for its ruffians and beer drinkers - sports bring people together. Even those that dont play.

Last year, my graduating year, was awesome. Our team got to go farther than we ever have. We traveled to Florida for nationals, we lost to the eventual national champs and played awesome. It was broadcast online live through USA rugby. It was a big deal. I didn't get to play in that game. I hate thinking about it cuz it was partially my fault, but that's a whole different story. Some times I have bad feelings about rugby because of stuff like that that has happened through out the years. The club is new. Things don't run like clockwork. But those feelings are vanishing, and in their place a stronger love for the sport is blossoming. Its a lesson to take with me through out life, because as time moves on whether we want it to or not, our situations change. I dont have to let rugby leave. I dont have to lose my friends when they get married or move away. The relationship just changes. But we can find a greater love for them in new ways that keep our lives intertwined with things bigger than ourselves. I love rugby.

Good Morning Utah

Every morning I get up like everyone else. I get ready quickly and prepare for the shock wave of cold air bound to hit me when I step outside. My car is cold, the heater taking it's sweet time to warm up. Despite the unfortunate temperature every morning, this daily regiment has grown on me - and I'll tell you why. Just before I get on the freeway my heater is warm and powerful. I get on the ON ramp....get up to speed....and there before me the mountains of the Wasatch range burst into view, the hallelujah chorus ringing in my ears. Right on que I shout in my car "Good Morning Utah!" This routine has been happening everyday for a few months now. In the early hours of morning when the sun is just getting up, the clouds and mountains come alive. I look forward to what combination of colors and lighting will be waiting for me the next morning. Summer has always been my favorite time of year. I dont like to get up before the sun, but at least the state of Utah knows how I feel. Her mountains and fields may be covered with snow and look cold and miserable, but as soon as that sun hits her slopes and cliffs she greets me with a warm salutation. Good Morning to you too.